If you want a story that will “make them see” once and for all, that you are right, you have missed the point.  There are many points of view, you look at mine and I might be willing to look at yours.  But if you over control a story, it makes you very boring and people simply shut down.  No one likes to be told what to think, even if you are pretending to tell a story.

Success can be frustrating too.  When, story creates powerful images that connect to your listener’s goals and inspirations, they may move past your original intentions, achieve more than you expected, and in different directions than you expected.   When you awaken full participation, you will not be in charge.

An exciting future story reframes present difficulties as “worth it.” Big projects and new challenges can be difficult and frustrating particularly for people who weren’t in on the decision-making process. Without a vision, meaningless frustrations suck the life energy out of a group. With an engaging vision huge obstacles shrink to small irritants on the path to a worthwhile goal. (Note: Vision stories that promise more than they deliver do more damage than good. So be careful.)

Storytelling is a great way to prompt introspection without putting people on the defensive.  Do you ever wonder “What were you thinking?” or worse, “How does you sleep at night?”  I do.  Yet, any effort to “MAKE” someone think about his/her actions only pushes them away.  If you really want them to back up and reconsider the effect they are having on the world, the best way I know is to tell a story that might prompt, in the privacy of their own mind, an internal dialogue that could produce a change of heart without ever having to admit they did something wrong. In most cases a “values in action” story can do the trick. [Read more…]

Trust is lost when you treat someone fairly by your standards, yet unfairly by their standards.  This doesn’t have to happen!!  There are many completely valid definitions of fair: everyone shares equally…whoever works harder gets more…the rainmakers get the most (even if it doesn’t look like they work hard)…hey, the neediest get first dibs…none of which translates to the same distribution of resources .  People think “fair” is obvious, but we need share stories that demonstrate what fair means to each person, so we can come up with a common definition of fair that avoids misunderstanding and protects mutual trust.